You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Randomize
