the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
