so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
