with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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