Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
