Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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