why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
