one two three fourrrrnication!
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Boobs are out for the taking
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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