I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
We had to coat check the pizza.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
