chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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