i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
