I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
