I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize