no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
