hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Bring me that man meat
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Randomize
