Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
