The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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