But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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