Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
