just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
