So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
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