Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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