My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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