marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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