fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize