Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
