whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
