it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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