i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Every concussion has its silver lining
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize
