I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
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