And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
