you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
