3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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