Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
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