I want to make a zoo with you.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
