As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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