Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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