Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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