I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Randomize
