I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
