the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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