I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
What a fucking waste of an outfit
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
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can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
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don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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