We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
