Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
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