It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
do nipples grow back?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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