We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
