Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
