As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
