I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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