he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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