Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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