Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
