my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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