quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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