sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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