one two three fourrrrnication!
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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