i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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