He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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