i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
