He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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