i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
