the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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