when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
